A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
