Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We need to rekindle our bromance
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
