Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
