Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
