Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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