I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
