whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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