I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
