soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
