I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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