You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
