Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
