I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
false alarm. still invincible.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
