I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
