Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
