Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
did you just send me my own nude
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
