I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Randomize
