After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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