We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
