The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
