I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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