I seem to have left my pride at pride
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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