Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
