You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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