We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
