I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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