He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
