dude i'm inner monologue high
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
do herpes really smell.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
