Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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