I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize