Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
