There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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