i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
