I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
