Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
