i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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