For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
