it was like fucking gandolphs beard
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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