why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Boobs are out for the taking
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
