All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
are you so shy because you have an std?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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