I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
