The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
