I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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