Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i drank out of a bidet.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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