I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
