i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
