Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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