dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
