Do you still have your period?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
