She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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