hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
