I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
