Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
