Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
