your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
