Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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