Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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