You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
