Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
