I'm eating all of the evidence.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Reggie can tackle my bush.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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