No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
