So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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