what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
