I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
