And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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