we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize