What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
