He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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