There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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